Am I the greatest?

Two years back, I had been to Delhi to visit my aunt. It was a bright sunny morning, my younger brother and cousins were still asleep. There were two things I liked about the place, her apartment, the well maintained swimming pool and the well maintained park.

‌I decided to go swimming. Its more than just a hobby to me. On my way back, I was  setting right my hair. It used to be like Rapunzel’s, but black like carbon nanotubes. (It still is, thanks to my mummy). Suddenly, a familiar looking lady approached me. She looked pale and thin, with dark spots on her face. She was bald. There were noticable scars. She said: “Don’t be so proud of your hair, mine was much better. But it ultimately went!”

Her voice was so antagonized,and her tone was so bitter, with a pinch of malice that I rushed back home. My aunt, on listening to this told me that the lady was Mannat aunty. She had been recently diagnosed with lung cancer. 4th stage.

Dear readers, she was the same Mannat aunty who was so breathtakingly beautiful. The one who could look sexy in a saree and elegant in a swim suit. The one who had such a disciplined lifestyle. Yoga in the morning, jogging in the evening, a strict no to oily food. She applied a face pack every afternoon, freshly made at home. The who was so amiable. I had never seen her without a smile. She had a heart of gold.

Mannat aunty left for an internal journey two months later.
All that I learnt was that some things are beyond our control. Let’s just accept it. I worked for a 120/120 in maths, but I ended up with 96. Nobody knows why. At least, I don’t.

I also have a strong desire to delve deeper. Find the secrets of the universe. The laws that control this. I don’t think it’s possible  that our perfectly designed universe has no law governing these things. The concept of karma, the concept of fate. But I have been so caught up the last two years. So caught up that I no more want to study for the exam I have been studying for since two years. I already have two other amazing colleges in hand. I can’t do the same damn physics problems again. 

Back to topic, my answer to the title, predictable from the paragraph above is No, I am not the greatest. I can never be. 

This is all for today!

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76 thoughts on “Am I the greatest?

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  1. Neither you nor I no one is greatest. Greatest is the theory of Karma. Secrets of universe could be unlocked with inner journey. Yes life is unpredictable and living every phase with humbleness and faith is what in our hands.

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        1. How does self analysis help? As a beautiful writer, I’m sure many thoughts occupy your mind. Isn’t simple self analysis close to self assumption? I’m sorry if you meant something else!

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          1. For me self analysis is deeply thinking about my behavior in a particular situation and improving myself. I also practice to follow teachings of Buddha and other great teachers. You may call it soul search.
            Though being a human I too do many things not upto my expectations but I’m learning. When I see back 5 years I find myself improving in many ways. Still a learner…

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            1. How does deeply thinking about your behaviour unlock secrets of the universe. Indeed it is a great thing that you do, I appreciate and respect that, but that leads to self improvement. I’m still on other shores with the self analysis part!
              Soul search, so you attribute it to karma. I don’t know much about all that so I’ll not comment on it.

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              1. This all is connected deeply. Till we purify or improve our inner self the noise of outside doesn’t let us concentrate and meditate properly. Meditation is nothing but silencing and in that world of peace you travel inwards. This is a very deep science.
                As I said I myself is a learner and walking on this path. But I had experienced that silence for just a few seconds. I can’t explain it in words.
                Secrets of universe could only be understood once you know how to dive deep inside. Read Autobiography of a yogi a great book. It will give you all answers.

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                1. That’s a great thought. We are never capable of a position, or an achievement, we make ourselves capable. This is what I learnt from giving an entrance exam this year. So you consider self analysis and self improvement as a process to gain or become worthy of accepting knowledge if I am right?
                  This is the best insight I came across in the comments section, I’m so glad I did not refrain from asking you questions. 🙂
                  But deep down I still wonder how close it is to reality. 😛

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                2. Self analysis or soul search or self evaluation whatever you can call it. These all are means of improving in and out. This is base step and journey starts from here…
                  This is you may say very close yet very far depends how we believe in it. Just keep faith start from base step and HE or SHE whaterver you call God will take you further!
                  Answers will start appearing themselves. I’m talking from experience.

                  Liked by 1 person

    1. 🙂 Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Karan. True, we can’t change things, but I sort of want to know what controls them, if not us.
      Yes, your guess is right. I just gave the entrance exam. I’ll be in first year, btech in a few days. 🙂

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        1. Thank you.
          How can you be so sure that these forces are beyond our understanding? I mean, maybe now we are not capable enough to understand stuff, maybe, but that may not be true in future.

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          1. Science and religion are like 2 spokes of the same wheel . No matter how “advanced” we always land on the same side . Like there are many ancient inventions that we haven’t been able to figure out yet . The cycle goes on & on

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            1. Talking about science, There have been many things which we have been able to figure out too. Though there are conficts, we can’t disregard the progress. For instance, the Big bang theory. I personally find it hard to agree with it. I find it just a trap of words. But still, I do consider it a progress in finding out something more legit, more nearer to the truth. Maybe we can reach to the actual reality some day! Or maybe it’s already told by someone and we are refusing to accept it.

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    1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts Radhika. I am still in the process to know more about law of karma, so I won’t comment, but if karma is limited to your deeds, (if it is) then why did such a graceful lady, beautiful in and out had to go through such adversity? I mean, I have seen her beauty, which I described and heard about her virtues from others.

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        1. I agree, R 🙂 but I feel it’s more to do with learning. Past life deeds or karma, I don’t believe much in these two. We come here to learn something, and once we are done with the learning we go back… And then again after a time period, we choose to learn something else. That is how I see life and death.

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            1. Nope. You don’t learn the same thing again. Suppose say, for eg, I wanted to learn about love and relationships, I take birth to understand what does it mean to be in a relationship, what is love, what happens when I lose a loved one, and so on… Once I feel I have completed my learning, I go back. Here, I is soul, not ‘me’. This is how I see life to be.

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                1. That is what I feel… Everybody makes mistakes right. Mistakes are made because of the limited awareness we have. Once we are aware of why did that happen and what went wrong, I don’t think it should affect us anymore. I am not talking the ones who have committed crimes and all that. I am talking about us. I met someone last year, a spiritual person, he said ‘its Kali yuga. There is no past life deeds and all that. What you do in this life, you pay for it in this life. Those who have done wrong, karma will pay back in this life, not next life’.

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            1. I was talking from my experience R. 😀 Many told me my suffering is because of the sins I committed in my past life. Okay, so I did not harm to anybody in this life.. and I must admit that I never enjoyed my childhood.. and whatever life had offered, I choose to see it as a learning/challenge. I am still happy inspite of all these things. What I don’t understand is why only good people suffer while bad ones enjoy?

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              1. I am happy that you still choose to be happy in spite of all the suffering you underwent R. A beautiful ceramic ware or an unpolished piece of raw diamond undergoes lot of pressure before finally becoming a masterpiece at the hands of it’s creator. So who knows all the suffering you experienced is to evolve your soul to further to attain moksha!!

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                1. Exactly R 🙂 that is what I was trying to say… Why choose to see it as a suffering when you can see it as a learning 😁

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                2. Haan . Konsa variety hai? Thoda chai and biscuits bhi Lana. Baat Karte karte bhuk lag gayi 😛😂😂😂

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  2. I agree with you. Some things are way beyond our control. It’s just the universe’s way of saying that it has better things planned for us – atleast that is how I see it. I made a lot of plans and well.. looks like uparwala had other plans in mind. 🙂

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    1. Btw, I feel the same about gate exam prep. I can’t do it again. 4yrs of engineering, then again study same subjects, I am fed up 😂😂 and I totally understand your 96 marks thingy. I wrote AIEEE back in class 12. I did it so well so I did not study for K-CET. And I got a decent rank in CET while … *Facepalm* 😂😂

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      1. See again it depends. I understand what happened with Mannat aunty was not good. You read my story right? Three years ago I too suffered for no fault of mine – it was a doctor’s mistake. You never know what happens next, that is how it always was and will always be. But our problems always end, need not be by recovery.. they say death is one of the ways to recover/ solution to a problem

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          1. Strange coincidence that.. you say not sure about what happens after death and last night, before I fall asleep, some voice in my head says “death is blissful. You will always be happy. There is pure white light all around you”. That was kinda creepy… ever since I started doing meditation, a lot of things are happening, I see this guy in my dreams 😛😛

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                1. I really don’t know! Never saw his face. He came a lot of times. All I know about him is his voice, beige Bermudas and hairy legs 😂😂😂 I actually googled about this dream, they say it’s soul mate talking or something. Seriously!!! 😑😑😑

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                2. Wow! Beige Bermudas, hairy legs 😂 sounds like me 😛😝😁😂 just kidding!
                  Soul mate…too deep…not my thing, I don’t want to think ..!

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                3. Why is this Aatma (soul mate) talking such creepy stuff? My R gets scared even if I say something in a creepy voice. He is also a soul mate. Not mine, but someone’s! 😝

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                4. Exactly. Not my thing either ! 😛 Do you have a pista green shirt to go with those beige bermudas? 😂😂 Somethings have no explainations, like dreams.

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                5. 😂😂😂 just kidding. It’s just a dream I guess. So let it be where it is supposed to be, in dreamworld 😛 at least aise sochne se Mann Ko Shanti milegi 😉

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                6. Ashaant Aatma. A guy in beige Bermudas and has hairy legs. Wears sexy pista green shirt. Sapno mein aane wala aur aspiring to be Dil Ko churane wala. Wanted. Alive or…dead! 😮😂😝

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                7. 😂😂😂 notice Laga do pls. Btw, pista green shirt 🤔🤔not a great fan of that color.

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