Unfathomed feelings #4

R was not just my teacher. He was a friend, a mentor, a motivator, a jester, and most importantly, my first crush! We shared secrets like best friends and teased each other like childhood buddies.

I still remember the first time I saw him, 27, tall, dark and handsome. He was there to replace my super amazing maths teacher. I hated him so much for that. In fact I was plotting to get him kicked out some how. *Indian daily soap music in background*. The first class, he was tired after traveling for long and I played the typical bitch, trying to confuse him, hoping he would make a mistake. But he is that typical Mr Perfect when it comes to maths.

And then, slowly my heart softened. I don’t know when, what, how. I began liking him. The universe conspires, as usual.  None of my classmates used to attend classes. I repeat, none. Me and him. The two of us. Alone.

Mathematics united us. I love mathematics right from childhood and he was superb at it, perhaps that’s why I started liking him so much. He is the perfect guy, I would love to hate. Hard core non-vegetarian, early morning smoker, addicted gamer, pink lover. But yet, he is smart, and sexy at mathematics.

And then, one day I unintentionally touched his hand, when he was about to do a mistake. We were solving complex numbers. And that day, I wrote the poem love currents πŸ˜›. I really felt the tingling sensation. I really did. πŸ˜›

He taught me conics till 11 p.m. for 5 days. Those were heaven! In breaks when he wouldn’t go to smoke, he would tell me his *don’t tell anyone* secrets, lots of experiences, his achievements, his childhood memories, I’m not telling everyone everything 🀐. Fortunately, I didn’t know how to flirt. 

He was my teacher, after all and he taught me so much besides Maths. The best thing was he made me feel so good about myself and regain my confidence. I don’t want to date him or let him know that he was my crush. I’m glad I met him. I managed to score really well in mathematics in a competitive exam. Mathematics became my rank booster. And it was so special to share the slice of cake with him. Extra sweet. Extra delicious. 

P.S. This is the first time I shared my feelings for him with someone. 


65 thoughts on “Unfathomed feelings #4

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  1. I need to find a name for you…your posts seems to be pages from a young lady who is enjoying the world in fullest giving a damn to everything,,,stay happy Sis…and speak to R because It’s All Only Words That All I Have…


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    1. No. We both are never nice to eachother πŸ˜›πŸ’˜ we keep taunting each other and keep laughing at each other’s mistakes unless one of us gets sentimental. That seldom happens!

      Liked by 2 people

  3. I have a huge, like…..very huge crush on my tuition teacher😭. He’s a professor, completing his ph.d, good looking, with loads of sense of humor, so loyal, and very sweet to me😭😭….he’s so talkative too😭😭😭….but I can’t tell him about my feelings and there’s only one year left when we’ll be far away from each other😭😭😭😭….he will get married then😭😭😭😭😭….someone give a shoulder to cry😭😭😭😭😭😭

    Liked by 1 person

    1. R, I can talk about him all day! I am the talkative one this side. His humour is manageable and he laughs on all my lame jokes, he actually likes them! πŸ˜›
      He is not always sweet, he gives me literally impossible targets and he is so used to me completing tasks that when I don’t do, he refuses to talk to me.
      No sweetie, I am not giving you a shoulder to cry. Don’t cry. Let’s accept it, it’s meant to be this way. I mean if he leaves abruptly, right now too I shall not be sad. I’m sorry if you are hurt, but I differ.
      And on a lighter note, it’s his loss. ‘kaun use yun pyaar karega
      Jaise tum karte ho’πŸ˜›πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‰


      1. I actually talk about him all the day…to my momπŸ˜‚….yeah she knows. But he’s more talkative than me. The reason I fell in love is not just due to his amazing characteristics but his suspicious behaviors to me. He treats me a lot differently from the other students, sometimes he gives me so much attention, when the other day he ignores me like I don’t exist at all. It’s really confusing cause I feel like he likes me too but not sure!!!😭😭😭. Some of my love poems are based on him….if you check out, you’ll understand how much I’m love with him😭😭😭.
        Thanks for giving me the strength to endure it. And it’s so true….Kaun use yun pyar karega jaise main karti huπŸ˜‚πŸ˜£πŸ˜³

        Liked by 1 person

        1. That was true in my case too. I received a lot of attention from him, I sort of know that it’s because we both loved maths.
          You sound like the ‘sataya hua aashik type’. πŸ˜› I like being the ‘bedardi zaalima’ πŸ˜›πŸ˜œπŸ˜ I don’t know why I am being such a drama queen today! πŸ˜›πŸ˜¬

          Liked by 1 person

          1. In my case it may be not for the subject. May be because I express my feelings too much by action. I ask about his health whenever he’s sick. And surprisingly, I’m the first one who comes to know about his sickness first everytime. He messages me like, “Tapasi I’m suffering from fever, may you won’t mind if I postpone the tuition today”. Everytime I get the msg first! I remember he got a little injured in an accident and when I ask if he’s ok….he gave all the description that he took antibiotics, injection, painkillers and all…..hell no! Man what do you want? Me or my sympathy?
            Drama is all over actually….thug lifeπŸ˜’

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Hehe…that’s great!
              I must tell you that we are way too different. If I am sick or if he is, the kind of stuff we would say eachother is ‘really? Seems like you have other plans today’ or ‘you don’t have to lie’. But yeah, there is always concern, not just for him, for every one, there is humanity.


              1. The ways are different in these two cases….but the similarity is the care….I know he cares for me too. I can’t forget the day when he was so tensed about me as I caught a fever and he touched my forehead. That was the best feeling ever😍….your post made me remind all those incidents again😘

                Liked by 1 person

                1. πŸ’™ I don’t know why, I feel your love is more intense and not one sided. Mine is merely a crush. Maybe you should ask him out… really…


                2. Can’t say it’s one-sided. Maybe he has some feelings for me too, but they won’t borne fruit. And I’m too afraid to confess, because if my predictions are not true….I’m gonna die😡
                  So basically it’s a crush just like yours, but yeah, he does a lots thngs that made me feel this. Coincidence maybe, God knowsπŸ™‡

                  Liked by 1 person

                3. Maybe after I complete my graduation…it’d be then a little easier. But I don’t wanna ruin my image to him. But you know what…..I don’t need to say….he already knows because of my stupid behaviorsπŸ˜‚πŸ˜­

                  Liked by 1 person

                4. Nope. Like I told you, we both are the bedardi type. I am too concious and skilled at concealing my feelings. He thinks I have a boyfriend. πŸ˜›


                5. πŸ˜‚ he saw me using my phone and smiling like a fanatic yesterday. I was using WordPress. He kept asking me to tell who I am texting, who is the guy! Crazy! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜›


                6. I believe that nowadays people smile on their phone mostly because they saw a memeπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚….that’s a painful misunderstanding though😐

                  Liked by 1 person

                7. I did a little. I stopped messaging him for 2 months. And then Idk if it was coincidence or not….he used to tell me to send him this, that, whatever, things actually not related to studies, and he only told me continuously to send. But I didn’t πŸ˜‚. I’m continuing this behavior right now and I’m seeing her getting desperate day by dayπŸ˜‚. Fate babes…fateπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

                  Liked by 1 person

                8. I’ve become tired of expecting. So I’ve just stopped it. I don’t expect anything from this complicated relationship at all. But let’s see what he will to do to have my msg. Sometimes…..it’s funπŸ˜‚

                  Liked by 1 person

    1. No, back then I did not feel the same. I was really upset that he was replacing my maths teacher and I did not want anyone to do that. And that’s why, I wanted him to make mistakes so that I could tell the academic head that he doesn’t know anything πŸ˜›
      This always happens with me, my first impressions seldom last.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Awww πŸ™‚πŸ™‚ tall, dark, handsome, 27, and everything else ok.. but smoker… πŸ˜‘πŸ˜‘πŸ˜‘ Psst , we spoke about some college yest (let’s not take its name again πŸ˜‰) many handsome pr*coughs*of*coughs*s there πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰
    Btw, I wrote poem on a similar topic but was kinda hesitant to post. May be I should post it sometime πŸ€”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. πŸ˜‚ no wonder that college requires such Tapasya πŸ˜›πŸ˜‚
      I used to hate when people smoked. But then, now, I sort of like the smell when it is from him. His is kind of different. I don’t know if it has something to do with the brand of cigarettes. No,this is not one of those lame and crazy stuff a girl says in love. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜›
      You should definitely post the poem, I’ll wait for it. Even I was postponing to post this from 20 daysπŸ˜›


      1. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ but that has nothing to do with why I want to join IISc you know πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰ sorry but smoking or drinking is a big turn off for me. Well, your crush so I shouldn’t be telling you about what I like and don’t like, right πŸ€”πŸ€” btw, never been in love but I know a lot of people who did crazy stuff when in love πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

        Liked by 1 person

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